Dear Husband... Love Your Stay at Home Mom Wife

Dear husband,

As I sit in my yoga pants with no desire to do yoga, sipping my tepid coffee and watching Moana for 7,614th time in my life with our precocious yet insanely adorable 2 year old, I’m reminded of the almost insane reaction you had to her taking a sip of my coffee last night. 

Or more specifically how you pretend to know better than your stay at home mom wife. 

I mean really, husband. 

I used to be a full time working mom, so I get it. It’s a hard thing having a career and a family. Balancing life is a bitch and none of us are immune to it. But you go to work and do your thing and to be honest I really have no clue what you ACTUALLY do and most importantly I don’t pretend to. But I do know you work hard. 

We are so grateful for all you do. Obviously, we would be nothing without you. We know you work hard, we know. You know we love you to pieces. But do I come into your work and reorganize your tools, or complain about your dirty work truck or start telling you how to better run your job site? Mostly with loud sighs and grunts? 

Of course I don’t. Because I’m not an idiot. 

And call me crazy, but I expect the same respect from you. 

Do I let our 2 year old run the show?

Of course I do. Sometimes. Because do you know how exhausting it would be to fight every battle in a 24 hour period? Do you know how many times in a day it took for me to physically restrain her in timeout before she actually got the idea and sat there on her own? I know you think it’s that magic look you give her and that she actually listens to you, which is adorable by the way. 

Do I let her pretend to finish my coffee when I just want to not hear her whine and complain and scream the word “mommy” (not “daddy”). 

Of course I do. You know how I know it will shut her up?  Because it was the only thing that worked while I attended our older girls Room Parent meeting surrounded by no less than 30 moms, plus the school principal as I tried everything I could think of to get her to sit still and be quiet. 

Do you have any idea what that’s like? 

I’ll just wait a second while you silently shake your head no. 

Ever heard of the word survival? Of course you have husband, your a man. But until you’ve had humans exit your body and are still expected to breastfeed them and take care of them while you have mesh underwear stuffed with frozen maxi pads all while you sleep peacefully next to your wife, you really have no idea what life is like for us. Just like I’ll never know what it’s like to support an entire family of 5 on my own. 

But I’ll just say you’ve never had to do that on less than 39 minutes of sleep a night, with sore nipples and covered in every bodily fluid you can imagine. I know it sounds dramatic, but these are facts husband. Do I love every second of it? Absolutely not. But I am so grateful to be able to do it. It’s a good life, husband. We are a great team. 

So the next time you see your wife go into survival mode? Remember that I’ve been doing this all day. This my MY job. I keep our kids alive, smother them in love and yes... aside from your beliefs, I discipline the shit out of them. And remember that you’ve only ever made our kids cereal and if your ok with feeding them all the sugar they need for a week in one meal then you can just shhhhhh next time. I’m ok with a little coffee. 

Like for real, just shhhhhh. 

Love love love,

Your stay at home mom wife.